I’m really enjoying the creativity of posts and the pretty layouts tumblr is offering :D

Are our values also changing from of substance into hollowed?

“Close enough to start a war
All that I have is on the floor
God only knows what we’re fighting for
All that I say, you always say more

I can’t keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb I can’t breathe

So, I won’t let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won’t ask you, you to just desert me
I can’t give you what you think you gave me
It’s time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables

Under haunted skies I see you
Where love is lost your ghost is found
I braved a hundred storms to leave you
As hard as you try, no, I will never be knocked down

I can’t keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb I can’t breathe

So, I won’t let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won’t ask you, you to just desert me
I can’t give you what you think you gave me
It’s time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables

Next time I’ll be braver
I’ll be my own savior
When the thunder calls for me
Next time I’ll be braver
I’ll be my own savior
Standing on my own two feet

I won’t let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won’t ask you, you to just desert me
I can’t give you what you think you gave me
It’s time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables
Turning tables, yeah
Turning, oh”

Today I picked up this half finished painting and finished it.

ah, it feels good to finish unfinished business :)

But there are some behaviours which I just cannot understand and let alone try to reason for because it makes me SO angry! These include the following:

1) Why do people choose to behave in a way like everyone else is out to get them and they are the poorest (not in terms of money but like pity poor) person in the world? (ok, I can understand if they have schizophrenia, but that’s a whole other story because there’s a reason for their paranoia…)
2) Why do people blame everyone else for their own problems? (I can’t think of any mental illness at the moment to explain this one, but perhaps I’ll come across one in the future)
3) Why do people think they deserve a lot of things when in fact they don’t? (there’s no such thing as free lunch in this world, and somehow they just don’t understand this saying, so sad.)

Maybe these people really have some sort of personality disorder? maybe they just haven’t faced enough challenges in the past and therefore believe that if one small adverse event happens in their life, to them it means the world has collapsed and everyone else needs to feel sorry and apologise to them about causing that adverse event. Now that is ridiculous.

How do people like this become the way they are when they clearly eat the same rice as me?

*puzzled*

Eating white chocolate and milk chocolate together.

Listening to really nice songs over and over again.

Looking forward to the weekends.

Watching cooking shows.

Being part of people’s journey during their last stages in life.

I love you mom and thanks for being such a great mom (that was us 19 years ago!).

2) Mixer (Mix Master!):

3) Bread maker:

4) Takoyaki maker:

5) Sandwich grill:

6) Ice cream machine:

7) (cute) Toaster:

On the other hand from the patient’s perspective, being in the hospital is probably the least type of place you would want to be, thus you can probably say you wouldn’t also expect to build any long-term relationship with your doctor there.  Some can even argued that the lesser contact you get with doctors during your stay, it probably means you’re getting better, require less medical attention and probably on your way of being discharged by the hospital already.

But what if the reason why you came into the hospital is because you’ve stopped coping in your daily activities? What if your living conditions and behaviours (e.g. drinking alcohol at hazardous amounts) are detrimental to your health and staying in the hospital is more comfortable compared to your own home?  What is the doctor’s role here then? Does it make any sense for them to treat your current medical problem but send you home again, knowing that your health would most likely deteriorate again because you actually need more help then just acute medical attention? (think about the revolving door analogy here, people don’t end up anywhere if they remain in the revolving door..)

These thoughts came to me after seeing a particular man during my internal medicine rotation.  At first I must admit that to me he was just an 80 year old man showing obvious clinical signs of chronic alcoholic liver disease and when my classmates asked me if there were any “interesting” cases for examination yesterday, I recommended him. Why? because his abdomen was grossly distended and filled with litres and litres of fluid due to liver failure, his legs were swollen up to his thighs due to fluid backflow and pressure, and his memory was impaired by his chronic history of drinking.  Plus he had a cardiac murmur.  I didn’t take much notice at all into who this man is, where did he come from, what was his job previously, does he have family, he was just a man with alcoholic liver disease to me.

Today I went to see him again with his treating doctor (who was also my supervisor).  Following routine examination, the doctor knelt down next to the man who was sitting on his chair and began asking him “Where were you born? Do you have any children? Where is your Mrs? What did you do for a living previously?”  and he answered “From NSW”, “1 daughter…around 40 years old, she has her own family”, “She died in 1973″, “Farmer”.  This conversation made me feel bashful about myself for having the previous superficial impressions of him and not seeing him as a person.  The treating doctor then smiled and thanked the man for sharing with her and that she learnt something from him today.  She then informed him that she feels it would be a better option for him to move into an accomodation where some degree of care could be provided but not necessary a nursing home.  She reassured him that in those types of accomodation his privacy and independence could be maintained yet he would be given a higher standard of care compared to if he returned home to live alone.

I was glad to see the doctor asked the patient these questions, offered advice and recommendation and showed that they cared for the social condition of patient beyond their stay in the hospital.  Some might find this adding to their workload or doing social worker’s job, however I found that just by such a small gesture of asking and showing that you care can actually make a difference to the patient.

Although I still have an issue with self-induced diseases (smoking, alcoholism, drug abuse, unhealthy diet), I would try my hardest to explore the reasons behind a patient’s detrimental behaviours and know them as a person and not just as their disease.

:(